16 April, 2008

Repercussions [Reposted from Facebook]

Location: here

it is funny, in a way. others are experiencing the emotions that i should be experiencing. i write about them. others experience them. i almost feel like i owe an apology. my ability to articulate that which even i have not yet been able to feel… it is both a blessing and a curse. i do not wish to make others hurt. i do not want to make others see what i see. i am just writing. but i do appreciate knowing the effect that it has, because i guess that’s why this is semi-public instead of in a locked Word file with a password (as is a diary that i have had sitting around for 16 years, rarely altered). i am not yet feeling it. the emotions have not yet come to the surface. hearing about the impact on someone else seems to be the only way i can get in there. when someone else cries for me, i get my cosmic wormhole into that emotional realm. but i can’t get there on my own, yet. i am not sure i want to. but i know i need to. eventually.

1 comment:

  1. And you will. Eventually. In your own time and in your own way.

    In the meantime? Breathe in and out. Let the people who love you, do so. Take one walk every week, just for you.

    These are the things I know.

    Those, and good thoughts. Good thoughts for you.