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15 February, 2008

Strange Shit (pun intended) [repost from Facebook]

I really thought I’ve seen it all. And now I realize, that I have not. In fact, there is a lot I have not seen! And I do not want to see! The good news is that certain things, previously unclear, are becoming clearer to me.

Scene: Men’s restroom at work

I am in the handicapped stall, because it offers a slightly wider space, preventing you from a) smelling as much, and b) having people staring at the tops of your feet while you do your business.

Of course, I can still see the tops of the feet of the person next to me. And there begins our story.

I am sitting in there, and someone comes into the next stall. And of course, I survey the occupant’s feet, because there’s nothing else to look at. He’s wearing rubber sandal type shoes, and socks. Unclear if he is caucasian, or what.

After about 15-30 seconds, I notice something out of the corner of my eye that causes me to glance over again.

I see first his left foot, then his right foot DISAPPEAR!

And I don’t mean OUT of the stall.

I mean UP.

What the fuck is going on over there?

Now there are very few possibilities, some of which are perverse and others are just strange. Needless to say, I am now VERY interested in what the hell is occurring there. I am wondering, is this guy about to peekaboo me over the top of the stall?

No. About another 30 seconds passes, and I now hear bathroom noises. I am not entirely sure which noises I am hearing.

But suffice it to say that this dude, is STANDING ON THE TOILET and doing his business.

Why?

Why is he doing this? I cannot for the life of me think of which culture this would represent. Then, after about another minute or three… he “climbs” down, and is standing in there, and then I hear some toilet roll action.

Anyway, I am done, and I get out of there before hanging around to identify the being responsible for this.

So, while odd, this clarifies for me certain other disgusting oddities of the mens’ room, such as “Why is there often shit ON the toilet seat?”

But I really don’t think you want me to go there? Do you?

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