26 January, 2009

Arranged unhappiness

This needs to be vague, to protect anonymity, so bear with me.

I have an acquaintance whom I always have thought might be gay. I would not say that my "gay-dar" is necessarily 100% accurate, but it's pretty good.

After the holidays, I ran into him, and heard the news that he was engaged. I had never before even heard that there was a significant other, or dating, or anything of the sort. It sounded as if he went home for the holidays and returned engaged.

I thought "Hm... that's unusual," but I don't know him well at all.

Then recently, I took a look at this person's Facebook profile. Although they are not on my friends' list, they happen to have open access. And on his profile, there were a handful of recent photos of him with his new fiancee. And I have to say, neither of them looked particularly happy in any of the pictures. Okay, maybe she looked like she was trying to be happy, but it was sort of a "deer in the headlights" kind of forced look. And he looked like he was being dragged to his own execution.

I am kind of thinking it's an arranged marriage.

And it makes me sad. I am not in a position to judge people's cultures, or choices, or actions. But, if you look as unhappy or strained as they do, I cannot imagine this is really in either of their best interests. It is especially difficult, I imagine, when you are not living immersed in a society where the majority of people adhere to the same practices. It provides the type of juxtaposition that could exacerbate resentful feelings.

Of course, I could be completely wrong here. But something inside me just tells me that I'm not wrong.

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