12 February, 2009

More talk about dates

I have had a date practically every night for the last two weeks. A streak that I have not ever matched at any point in my entire life. It's really quite impressive. In fact, to rival a good friend of mine, I have actually had as many as two or three dates in a single night, on occasion! And all this without using Match.com, eHarmony, Stranger LoveLab, or any of the more seedy options out there. 

Okay, I can't pull this joke on you twice. It really doesn't work the second time, does it? Really, though, I have had a never-ending supply of dates that came from Costco. And they are delicious. I am not sure, but I think they're called something like "Medjool dates" or some such nonsense, which I assume implies that they come from a place that hates Jews. I am not sure why I think that, but it's probably a good bet. They might actually come from Dallas, and that would still be true. There are a few things I don't understand about dates. Let me enumerate them for you:

  1. What are dates? Possibilities: large raisins? giant ant carcasses? a cocoon of some type?
  2. Are dates plums? Evidence: there is something called a "date plum"
  3. Are dates figs? Evidence: Fig Newtons taste like dates
  4. Does "pitted" mean that they have pits, or that they don't have pits? 
  5. Are dates dates? Evidence: they are called "dates"
  6. Are dates processed or modified in any way? Evidence: they seem too good to be natural

These are just a few of the things that I wonder.

But more importantly, I wonder how I am going to get back to Costco fast enough to buy more once this stash is depleted. Because I am addicted. If I don't have at least one date every night, I have a hard time going to sleep. I often bring a couple of dates up to my bedroom with me, just in case I have a need during the night! It's really getting out of control.