02 March, 2009

Keeping secrets

I'm not one to keep many secrets. 

As I think I told you last week, there are very few things I don't share. I've written a lot of things in my blog that many people would never discuss. I have talked about my history. I have talked about other people's histories. I have talked about beliefs. I have talked about anger, pain, regret, amusement, anxiety, disgust. I've written about relationships. I almost always find a way to write about what I'm feeling or what's on my mind, whether it be veiled, or completely blunt.

That's why it surprises me a bit that I am having a bit of writer's block. '

And I know why it is. It's because the thing that is presently dwelling at all levels of my consciousness is something that I don't want to share. It's not that I don't want to talk about it. It's not that I don't want you to know about it. In fact, I am dying to have it be known. I just don't want to share it here. I am protecting it. For some reason, I don't even want to tell you what it is that I don't want to tell you about. And the absurd irony of this is that probably all of you who read this blog already know what I'm talking about anyway.

This is shaping up to be a really thrilling blog entry. So much dirt!  So much scandal! Secrets! Thrills!  

But no. None of that. At least for now, these thoughts are my own. They are precious to me. 

And I want the beauty of it all to remain something special and private.

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