06 June, 2009

Don't vote for Pedro

Tonight, I had the "fortune" of hanging out on the Kirkland waterfront, where the yuppies go to eat overpriced dinners. I went there with a few friends, because we'd just got done playing music. The place we went, if I recall correctly, was called The Wilde Rover. It is a pseudo-Irish pub with such traditional Irish cuisine as "Buffalo Mac & Cheese" - you know, the usual fare. And lots of really pretentious Irish text on placards all over the walls. And a bunch of plastic looking people.

When we arrived, there was a band setting up to play for the evening. The band was called Vote For Pedro. They were a bunch of late 20's looking frat-boy types. And they had gear that looked so new, it was almost certainly purchased for them by their parents after they graduated from UW with their degrees in business administration, and moved back to the Eastside to be closer to family. Naturally, I wanted to stick around long enough to verify that they sucked, since that always gives me a small amount of pleasure. I enjoy any opportunity to complain about bad cover bands. Bad original music is another story. To really enjoy a bad original band, they need to be extremely bad. Usually, bad original bands are just boring, or forgettable. But a bad cover band is one of the great joys. Because it does not take much for them to become laughable.

The highlights of Vote For Pedro are as follows. They have an extremely egotistical, pretentious, obnoxious, self-important "multi-instrumentalist" who was oh-so-clever with his commentary during their sound check, that I was almost unable to stick around long enough to really hate them as a band, instead of just hating him as an individual. He played saxophone, bass guitar, and keyboard. And seemed to have very specific needs regarding hearing himself on stage. What a spoiled fucking brat. I have played shows where I couldn't even hear my voice in my own head, and could only tell if I *might* be in key, based on the beat patterns of the reflections coming back at me from the wall at the opposite end of the room. But the little prince needed everything perfect. Oh, and he looked like a young Patrick Swayze, and I mean that in the worst possible way.

I wonder how many times I need to mention Seattle cover band Vote For Pedro before these clowns will find this blog when they or one of their frat-boy friends does a Google Search to see when the next time is that they're playing at the Rock Bottom Brewery in Bellevue Square?

So, after spending about 45 minutes setting up their shit, including a bizarre crash cymbal, that was hanging above the drummer's head, they finally came to the stage to play. I pretty much only wanted to hear enough to really hate them, and then I'd be ready to leave. I figured, two songs. Three, tops. Before starting, they apparently changed into their "uniforms" which consisted of three-quarter sleeved baseball shirts, that spell out "Vote", "For", and "Pedro" on the chests of the three front people. Splendid. And I know that the reason LPS (Little Patrick Swayze) is standing on stage right was so he would get to be "Pedro" instead of "Vote" because that's clearly the kind of guy he is. Actually, I cannot remember if stage right means my right, or their right, but I think you know what I mean.

The band opened up with Creedence Clearwater Revival's "Proud Mary". And they ruined it. Primary blame goes to the drummer for having no soul. These guys clearly don't like CCR, and have no respect for John Fogerty. They just seemed like a bunch of idiots faking it so they can get paid their $600 and go drink Coors Light on the docks.

Then they played some Joni Mitchell song that I forget. Then they played some song by that horrible band Everlast. Then we left. And I felt fully satisfied that yet another cover band sucks. I used to play in a cover band, and I don't think we sucked as badly as they did. We had some pride and respect for the music. We were not frat boys. We did not act cutesy while sound-checking. And we did not wear uniforms. And we didn't butcher CCR. Actually, we didn't play any CCR, though I would have loved to do it.

If you want to see a real cover band, go see The Pop Offs.

Maybe I should put a link here to Vote For Pedro's website. That could greatly increase the chances of them seeing my review, and also greatly increase the chances for a decent flame war.

Okay. Here goes. Click here for shitty cover band.

A few final thoughts.
  1. Pedro the bass player was, unfortunately, the most talented guy in the band, as much as I hate to admit it. The singer had a good voice, but didn't seem to get the songs.

  2. The Buffalo Mac & Cheese was actually very good.

  3. They're playing at the Rock Bottom in Bellevue on July 11th. I checked :)

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