07 June, 2009

I love warning signs

Seriously. Signs are so odd and patronizing. And usually more funny than useful. Take, for example, this sign on the side of a transformer cabinet in the parking lot of my gym:

I love when they have stupid pictures that anthropomorphize forces of nature. And then, they need to warn you against all things that could possibly happen. Shock. Burn. Death. What else? Could it cause brain damage? I don't know. Everything in our society is designed to protect businesses from being sued for really obvious things.

I also like the sign for not rocking the vending machine. Have you seen it?

So, here's what they're saying. If you put in your money, and you don't get your Milky Way, do not attempt to shake the machine to get the candy bar because, if you do, lightning will strike you and the machine will crush you. What is the origin of this metaphor of lightning bolts into one's head indicating "harm will come to you". Someone has a sick sense of humor, or no understanding of how vending machines operate. Maybe the lightning bolts symbolize regret?

I really don't know.

My last favorite that I will share with you:

Why does the sign for crossing the street show two women with purses and skirts? How fucking patronizing and sexist is that? It's like, if it were men, they'd get across the street quickly, so you don't need to slow down. But these women will probably just perish in the street like squirrels if you don't slow down for them. Bizarre.


  1. Um...one of the people on the street crossing sign is actually wearing pants.

  2. i always thought that was a man...with a briefcase or something.