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24 April, 2011

Blogger with lost voice

Lately, I've been suffering from a feeling that nothing I could write is worth saying.

I recognize fully that this is not the first thing I want someone to see when they happen upon this blog, because it is not going to do much good for my readership. Perhaps this will be my way of boxing myself into writing more entries, to push this down the page, replacing it with insightful pithy observations about the world.

It's strange, because there are have been times in my life where I have not been writing, because I've been down, and have not felt like expressing myself. That hasn't been the case lately. If anything, life has been going very well. But it seems like the creative voice in me is muffled, or perhaps being smothered under a big fluffy pillow called "Life." And I have mixed feelings about what that means in the long run. Would I forever trade my creative self for a happy self? I'm conflicted.

In the last year, I've started three other blogs. Each of them came with the expectation that it was a new, "special" project. One that had a cause. One that I would diligently update. Because there was a cause, and there would be a readership. Great ideas, one and all. But I didn't stick with them. They're also sitting there, languishing. So now I feel like I've got four creative endeavors, instead of only one. All of them in stagnation.

Clearly the problem right now is an inner-critic problem. I've written entries that I've deleted or saved without posting. I've had ideas that later get dismissed as "not worthy."

I don't know whether to push forward with some "Blog-A-Day" rule for myself, hoping that sheer brute force will get me through this colossal writer's block. Or if I should accept that I'm not there right now, and wait. Because I don't want to write shitty blogs.

Something tells me I need to not worry about whether they're good or not. Just write.

Starting now.

2 comments:

  1. I think your blog is amazing. And 5 years old too! That really counts for something, dont u think? You seem to be a really talented writer and so creative!

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  2. Your blog is amazing! You're such a talented and creative writer! And the fact that this blog is 5 years old, speaks for itself!

    What are the web addresses of the other blogs u've created?

    ReplyDelete